So I able to successfully elicit a predictable response pattern, albeit inadvertently, while responding to a video on TikTok that shows a woman in a pool wearing what appears to be a surgical mask.  I had no idea why she was wearing the mask, nor did anyone else in the thread and it was obvious they did not care to (that was the first sign).   And while there was no proof of her putting the mask into the water or the mask being wet (the astute observer will notice the mask retains its shape without sagging), comments included such gems like “waterbording herself.”  Gotta love it.

So I made a comment: “If she can wear it in that environment, other people can handle it in stores.”  It ended up being the bait that attracted all kinds of people, some with some truly witty comments.  Oh, sorry, I meant comments they thought were witty:

It is interesting how the idea of normalizing the wearing of masks during a fucking pandemic is trigging to some individuals.  Maybe they are those fragile “snowflakes” we keep hearing about?  Anyway, while I believe correlation is not causation, you can usually predict the leanings of someone based not just on their position on masking, but how they present that position.  Just sayin’. 

It did not take long for the poster’s thumbnails and content to cause a certain pattern to emerge.  While I do not normally associate with such disadvantaged individuals, it was a good opportunity to play MAGABingo, and I was able to nail a whole bunch off in less than 12 hours – a new record!

MAGABingo!
Topic/Word	Mentioned Yet?
Liberal/Libtard	Yep
Democrat	Yep
Sheep/follower	Yep
(Joe) Biden	Yep
Freedom/free country	Yep
Strawman	Yep
Right/Rights (forgetting that the right to swing you arms ends at the tip of someone else’s nose)
Confusing masks with “face diapers” or muzzles.	Yep
Fauci (lied, etc.)	Yep
Masks don’t work!	Yep
Vaccines don’t work!
Unapproved Vaccine (if you cannot articulate the difference between EUA and general authorization/licensing, just shaddap)
Bonus Item Using words like Poke and Jab to refer to the vaccine
Misused “hmmm” emoji	Yep
Confusing changing/updated science with “flip flopping” (usually due to an inability to comprehend science)	Yep
“Playing dumb” (well, maybe not really playing)	Yep
“Shut up” (usually due to an inability to defend one’s position)	Yep
Trump/leader
#misusedhashtag	Yep
Hunter Biden (usually together with some pizza shop’s nonexistent basement or a certain laptop that became vaporware)
I read the real truth on OANN, Gab, MeWe, Runble, or a link to some questionable video or video site, etc.	No, but we are almost there, I can just feel it…  I predict one within the next 12 hours. Update: yep – got one about some BS about masks not working.
(Infected) Immigrants coming over the border (Google this first, you morons)
Just wait until [Insert Date Here] for Trump to assume the presidency again!
Random name-calling (ad hominem  due to an inability to defend a position) usually via a single-word response	Yep
Bonus Item Whataboutisms
Overestimated Abilities (see: Dunning–Kruger effect – one believing they are qualified for something they are absolutely NOT qualified for)	Yep – at about 2PM on 23-AUG-21, someone suggested they were qualified to infer my intent, and then further implied they had the capacity to make me upset (she did not).
The generic “I refuse to live in fear!” or implying that others are (Usually coupled with a complete inability to articulate exactly what those fears are), or a really clever “well, uh, um, just stay home, then!”	Yep
Fear Mongering! (Usually coupled with a complete inability to articulate exactly what fear mongering is without Googling it)
Virtue Signaling! (Usually coupled with a complete inability to articulate exactly what virtue signaling is without Googling it)
Ignorant of the difference between SARS-CoV-2 and COVID-19

Remember, if you are the kind of person who’s account keeps getting suspended or banned, especially on multiple social media platforms, it is not because you and your buddies know some secret that somehow eluded the understanding or knowledge of the professional, educated, and experienced scientists out there, or something everyone else is trying to hide, it is because you are an uninformed, ignorant asshole, chugging your Dunning–Kruger cocktail while calling everyone else a stupid idiot.   (FFS, some of you had trouble with Common Core math 5 years ago – we are supposed to think you suddenly became qualified to talk about anything related to a pandemic?)  There is an interesting quote from the show Justified that comes to mind:

“If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.” –Raylan Givens, Justified

The same applies – if you keep running into ignorant sheep that are just pawns in someone’s agenda and do not know The Real Truth about things like masks, the vaccines, the “plandemic,” etc. chances are you are the ignorant sheep.  Maybe you should step back for a minute and look into that?  #readascientificarticlesometime

Now, normally, when dealing with this kind of crowd, I try to keep things simple and try not to use words with too many syllables – history has shown that they prefer their words short and sweet, and/or tend to follow the Rule of Three (and even multiples of three, it seems) with the words or syllables.  Some examples:

Lock Her Up;  Build The Wall;  Stop The Steal;  Masks Don’t Work;  Sleepy Joe;  China Joe;  That’s Fake News;  Fauci Lied; Infected Immigrants;  Suck It Up;  Fuck Your Feelings, Snowflakes; The Vaccine Does Not Work; etc.

But to be honest, TikTok’s 150 character limit is a bit restrictive when trying to respond and having to break thing down to basics.  Was easier to highlight things in a blog post.  So here goes:

1. You are ignorant of why she is wearing the mask in that environment, and if you are anti-mask in the first place, you are  definitely not qualified to speculate.
   
   
2. Um, masks work to help prevent transmission because they can ensnare respiratory droplets which is the primary means of transmission for SARS-CoV-2.  Yes, we know the mask cannot stop a lone virus particle, luckily that is not how it gets around, and anyone that told you that singular lone virus particles are an issue lied to you.
   
   
3. You do not get to call anyone else a sheep or a follower just because you happen to follow a different shepherd.  Read a book for crissakes.
   
   
4. Your rights/freedoms end at someone else’s safety (see “tip of my nose” above), and helping to stop the spread of SARS-CoV-2 is everyone’s responsibility, so grow the fuck up.  No one likes masking up, the people that do, do it for more important reasons, like increasing overall safety for everyone, and not just selfishly worrying about their own “freedoms.”  Freedom comes with responsibilities, just like how gun ownership does.   Get responsible, and stop whining like a brat.
   
   
5. Googling for “do masks work” and then scrolling past and ignoring 40+ science-backed articles/reports (some even with cited references) on how masks DO work, in order find one single nutjob’s video on BitChute about how they do not work, is not research – it is confirmation bias.   
   
   
6. Just get vaccinated and wear the fucking mask.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.  Have a safe day.

Peace!